Nightmares

I just dreamt about Exodus.

In my dream, he was nice to me.

Genuinely nice to me.

And somehow I found that more disturbing then the nightmares I have where I am chased by the shadows of my monsters being raped and brutalized over and over and over.

I woke up sobbing, and it took some time talking myself down, and convincing myself that that man never actually existed.

I was in love with a phantom.