One of my personal philosophies is that negative emotion can be remedied by positive action.

My positive action of preference is my skincare obsession. I baby my skin, pamper my skin, and come up with DIY toners, cleaners, lotions. Doing that channels my creative energy while harnessing my negative emotions and putting it somewhere positive.

I have been wanting to go back to school for a while, but it seems like every time I try to go, I seem to get in my way.

I know it does not help that for years I have been told I am the scum of the earth, without brain or intellect, and that my sole use in life is to be a sex object.

I seem to have gotten it into my head that any university or college course I take will shape the entirety of my future. With that sort of pressure on myself, it is no wonder I have not been able to succeed. The more I failed to pass with flying colours, the harder I became on myself.

Which brings me back to my skincare obsession. I’ve been thinking more and more that I want to do something in that field. I can talk for hours on how to care for ones skin holistically and not run out of things to say. Giving someone a facial is probably as relaxing to me as it is for the person I’m giving it to. I find it exciting trying to figure out how to enhance someone skin, and even more thrilling to experiment with various kitchen staples to create things that I will end up wearing on my skin.

In talking with my therapist about how to carve out a future for myself, I was given the task of simply looking up information on one *short* course I could see myself taking and enjoying.

The emphasis being on one course, and it being short. The whole point of my going is simply to pass and have fun at the same time, to build confidence and prove to myself I am capable of achieving this.

I ended up doing more then just looking up course info… I am now registered for a four month course in giving facials 🙂

This is motivating to me to stay well, and stay focused, and continue with therapy and my own “home studies” (reading, basically ;).

August/Sept tends to be a difficult time of the year for me. I feel that now, having a clear and positive goal in mind, I have a good chance of pulling through.

Stay Strong ❤

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