On My Nerves

Posted: October 11, 2011 in survival, survivor, victim
Tags: , ,

Everything seems to be irritating to me right now.

People chewing food, raised voices (any sound above a whisper really), the closing of doors. The sound of people talking just makes me want scream. People coming near me makes me want to scream. My mother, who gave me half a hug yesterday, even after I told her politely that I do not wish to be touched, makes me want to scream.

The pain in my pelvis, which radiates down my legs and spreads into my back also makes me want to scream. I cannot remember the last time that area of my body hurt so much, if ever.

I’m living at home (which you would think would make me safer – it does not), and the house is used as a gallery for artwork my parents create. It’s not a home, a sanctuary which I can safely retreat to, but a place where strangers violate the territory, know the address and phone number. No wonder I cannot relax.

Not to mention the revolving door of friends my younger siblings bring over.

I can count on one hand the friends who know where I live, and those friendships have lasted years. Nor do I allow them entry into the house. I figure there are enough strangers around.

I have tried to warn my parents of the foolishness of their actions, but they justify it by saying that everyone who has come over has been nice and kind so far. Means nothing, really.

I think I need to finally get out of the house. I cannot stand being around anyone right now. Sounds counterintuitive I know, going out to be alone… But no one has reason to talk to me out of the house, and I can block away any noise/chatter with my ipod.

I need to pick up some emu and castor oil anyways. The application of both is the only thing that somewhat helps with the pelvic pain.

Ugh, I feel a migraine coming on. The day has just started, and I already wish it to be over.

Stay safe

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