It took me years to get this idea drilled into my brain: love is not enough to keep me with him.

I know how desperate the need is to find him innocent of all wrong doings, but the truth is, he is guilty, and will just keep getting worse if you stay.

We grow up thinking we have to stick by our man, and that “love is the answer”, but thats is the biggest lie ever! And it keeps women trapped and oppressed and imprisoned.

This idea that women are “sugar and spice and everything nice”, while men are “frogs and snails and puppy dog tails”… Which, while relatively accurate, just drives home the divide between the sexes.

When I was 16, I would hide from my boyfriend in the principal’s office. It was a small, religious school of about 40 people when I went there, and I have no idea what the principal thought I was doing, but making sure he was not there, I would sneak into his office, curl up under his desk and rock back and forth, terrified by bf would find me.

Usually, my best friend at the time would track me down, and she had a good idea of what had me so scared. “Why don’t you just leave him?” She would ask me, exasperated. I would look at her, bewildered and tear eyed, and say that I couldn’t, because I was scared and I loved him.

The first time that happened, she abruptly got up and tracked him down, pushing him into a private area of the school and started getting in his face. I ran after them and got between them, yelling at her to leave him alone, that she was just making it worse, and that I was okay. She looked at me, mildly disgusted, and walked off. And I had to face my bf’s wrath.

Love is a good beginning-

but it has to have other things, like honesty, open communitcation, equality, freedom from fear, a life independent of the relationship, passion with consent, kindness, and gentleness, a sense of humour instead of a temper.

You deserve so much. You deserve so much better.

You ARE special (not in the way he says it though) – brave, compassionate, kind, beautiful.

Stay Safe


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