I’ve been thinking seriously about the future. Usually it seems tenuous and murky.

But I finally have something tangible and real in sight.

I’ve decided to turn my passion and hobby into a small business. I’ve decided to enter the world of Natural Skin Care 🙂

My interest in skin care might seem a bit vain when first looking at it, but in all honesty, the obsession with skin saved my life. Really. I was so full of self-hatred and self-loathing, and took those emotions out on myself in unhealthy ways. I still have the visible scars of that time. It took forever to change my thinking, and I’m not entirely sure what event made it happen (probably when my ex tried to kill me), but I began to realize I had to love myself in order to heal. That my self-hatred was keeping me in a cycle of abuse, not only with myself, but with men.

I think I chose to baby my skin because I had been a self-injurer for about 12 or 13 years at that point. I had awful scars that shamed me and made me hide my skin. To me, the ultimate form of self-loving would be to take the skin I showed such hate, and to baby it, caress it, massage it, and treat it tenderly.

I hated my face too. I had awful, severe acne from the time I was 10 – not even Accutane worked on me. I grew my hair and hid behind it and layers of makeup. Nothing conventional worked on me.

So when I decided to baby my skin, I decided to go all Natural and Organic, and see if maybe that would help my face as well. Improvement was slow, with a lot of hit and misses, but the more I delved into the world of skin care, the more hooked I became, and the less my desire was to hurt myself.

I ended up creating my own skin care that cleared my skin, and got rid of all the horrid scarring. I’m still experimenting though, on the keloid scars on my legs – on those I am not holding my breath, but it would be pretty cool if I could improve on them!

I always thought I had to have official “credentials” to have a skin care line of my own, and so I held onto that dream, but never told anyone.

It was not until I created a complete skin care line for a couple people recently that it hit me – I know exactly what I’m doing.

I’ve always just been a “survivor”, but that in itself has quite a lot of power in terms of credentials. The fact that I am not yet an Esthetician (that is what I am in school for), does not mean I cannot go ahead with my idea for a business I am so passionate about!

If you have a goal, even a vague on in mind, grab it with both hands and run with it! I know its a scary prospect, as it is a scary world. But we have to take chances in order to find happiness and in order to heal.

I’ll keep you updated as this progresses from idea to actual business!

Stay safe sisters

*hugs*

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