Archive for the ‘movie review’ Category

I was on the bus today, when I caught a glance of the tabloid the woman beside me was reading. The caption on the picture of handsome Johnny read “Johnny Depp says photo shoots make him feel like he’s ‘being raped'”, as told to Vanity Fair magazine.

Umm… EXCUSE ME?!

As soon as I read that, I (internally) flew into an outrage. I could not believe the audacity of this man, who wields so much power and has such media coverage and credibility, would say something so careless and thoughtless!

Rape is an act of power and control. An act of the ultimate violation of body, mind, and soul. It is the violent penetration of a person without consent.

Being raped has made me feel like people are always watching me, and can tell that there is something damaged about me. Like there is a taint on my soul. I feel dirty in a way I can never get rid of, no matter how hard or how long I scrub my body.

Being raped made me lose my sense of boundaries, my sense that there is any justice in the world. Being raped destroyed my ability to trust another person.

Being raped means I cannot be intimate with another person without dissociating – meaning I simply go through the motions but I am not there.

I am left with complex PTSD, severe nightmares, triggers that take me to images of the past. Sights, smells, actions, any little thing can set a trigger off in my brain and send me straight back into the past. I relive the abuse daily. The beating, the rapes, the emotional terrorism.

I tried to kill myself 6 times, and should have died the night my ex strangled me.

This is how Johnny Depp feels?

I think, dear Johnny, you just lost a fan.

Like I’ve said, I have a thing for kids movies. They make me feel innocent somehow.

One movie that gives me hope when it comes to the typical fairy tale is the movie Shrek.

Shrek Forever After, in particular.

I do protest to the male hero rescues the woman. Enter marriage, children, and a happily ever after.

However, I think the Shrek series is a bit different.

You get to see the dynamics of the male/female relationship after the “happily ever after”, and that, I think, makes a difference.

In Shrek Forever After, Shrek wants his freedom, to be as it was before children and marriage. And as such, he essentially sells his life away for an unburdened 24 hours.

I know my opinion is pretty biased, but I am not surprised by this behavour. I think it is pretty typical of men, and in a way, I am glad that it is depicted true to real life.

But this is where the fun really starts:

In this alternate reality where Shrek does not exist, Fiona ends up rescuing herself!

This is what I love about the movie – female empowerment 🙂

This is a strong beautiful and capable woman who took charge of her destiny, and decided, that even though she had been told to remain in her prison until a “prince” came, she would rescue herself.

She then becomes a leader of orgres looking to right the world. She is a leader of men. She exploded through the glass ceiling and came out on top.

Shrek and Fiona act more as equal partners as they battle evil.

Of course, there is the underlying message that love can conquer all. Which I think is the worst message that a movie marketed to young children could give.

Love is what rescues the man this time, and the ball is completely in the woman court.

I love kid’s movies. While I had a pretty idyllic childhood, I carried the secret and burden of being molested with me. So watching kids movies is my method of escapism in the innocent world of childhood I never got.

I recently watched the movie Tangled. And one thing was immediately striking.

The Rapunzel character was being severely emotionally abused by her mother figure, and this abuse explodes violently towards the end of the movie.

For most of the movie, my insides were knotted up with anxiety for the young woman.

I relaxed when she escaped. Yet, as with most fairy tales, she did not use her own resources to escape her prison. She waited until the handsome young man came along to “rescue her”.

The fact that this couple later get into scrapes that the young woman recuses them both from, only furthers my disappointment in this movie. If anything, the young man is a burden whom she should be better off without.

This movie plays into the myth that all too many women believe: We need a man to survive.

Back to the mother figure:

This mother manipulates, controls, and brainwashes her adopted (kidnapped) daughter into fearing the outside world and being afraid to leave her tower. As this mother is her only interaction with the outside world, there is nothing to contradict this believe.

Remember that it is standard behaviour for abusers to isolate their victims, and to make them fearful and suspicious of everyone and everything but themselves. This makes the abuser the victim’s entire world.

When the mother figure “loses control” of her daughter, she then seeks out thugs to control and manipulate, all with the purpose of getting back her daughter, and making her seem like the hero (this will make the false believe system correct, and reconfirm the abusers place as a “god-like” figure – all knowing, and always correct).

So how does the movie resolve itself?

Without revealing too much…

The young woman is once again rescued by the young man.

So my concluding thoughts on this movie?

For adults only. I hate for these messages to be spread to children, and it happens all to often with movie depictions of fairy tales.

 

I watched a really great movie last night called La Mission.

The movie is about a father/son relationship and the community dynamics and complication of coming out of the closet. The son is gay and the father refuses to accept him, even going so far as to beat him up and rough up the boyfriend.

It’s not one of those typical “happy ending” hollywood movies, so I was not expecting to feel so effecting by this movie.

But towards the end, the father has a revelation about his behaviour and breaks down, and suddenly realizes that he has been in the wrong the entire time.

This made me incredibly sad. It implies that abusers can realize their own bad behaviour on their own, and change without intervention. That could be dangerous for someone being victimized to watch. On the other hand, seeing that revelation on screen touched me. It made me wish that just one of my abusers were capable of having this type of emotional evolution: where they realize that violence is got the answer.

While I was watching the movie, and watching this father break down, I thought to myself, I wonder, if this was real life, would those tears be genuine, or just another attempt to manipulate and control?

I couldn’t help but tear up myself, no matter my mind’s doubt at the ability for a domestic batterer for change. My heart cannot help but want to it to be true.

Do I think change is possible?

No. I really don’t. Something seems to be fundamentally wrong in the brains of abusers. While “normal” people can, and do, change themselves throughout their lives, abusers adapt. They adapt to better control their latest victim, or to seem empathetic, or to make themselves out to be victims themselves.

They are not capable of real feelings.

And if you are numb to your emotions, how can you genuinely change?

A highly recommended movie. One that left me thinking, and hoping that movie-world, things would have a happy ending after all.